The idea that you use an application to order a stranger with a car to pick you up from point A and drop you to point B sounds simple enough, right? Then you add to it the human element, and it sometimes turns catastrophic! Now, if you use Uber, Careem, or any of the many ride-hailing applications in Egypt often, then you’ve undoubtedly met your fair share of different drivers. You’ve probably also noticed the one thing most drivers have in common is that their car radio seems to be tuned to a music land of sad Arabic songs. Here are the most common types!
“Lost Larry”
You get into the car, your driver tells you he’s not from around here, so he isn’t really familiar with the area. Oh and that GPS thing on his phone (that he presumably used to get to) you isn’t working. Congratulations, you will be his guide, and if you don’t know the way, you’ll have to use your GPS to reach your destination!
“The Golden Driver”
Now this one is an overachiever. He will shower you in tissues, water, candy, gum, and all sorts of bonuses for that five-star rating. And he will not be afraid to ask you for it at the end of the ride. He’s a go-getter!
“Creepy Ned”
This type of driver doesn’t know how to be professional even if he tried. Their customer service skills are tainted. If you’re a girl, he will hit on you (AKA harass you) and think it was a compliment. Their professional radar is so off, they wouldn’t recognise it if it stared them in the face!
“Hodor”
He will only speak to you during the ride for one of two reasons only; either it’s because he’s asking you about your destination, or he’s confirming your directions. He doesn’t need to say or hear more. We appreciate you, special ones!
“The life coach, aka Sensei”
Now these drivers hold the wisdom of the earth, no matter what your situation or story is, and disregarding the small issue of whether you asked for it or not, he will shower you in advice about your life choices. For instance, if you’re a smoker, they start talking about health, and you’re just sitting there not sure why you’re having that conversation with this stranger!
“The diamond in the rough”
Now this one is rare. You probably only meet one or two of them per month if this is your daily method of transportation. He strikes the perfect conversation balance, he’s polite and professional, yet also relatable on a cool level. Some of those drivers can make your ride an interesting one.
“Mr Know-it-all”
He knows the way to your home or work better than you do! Surprise, surprise, Mr Know-it-all. And if you choose a different route than the one he’s decided is best (yikes), he will make sure you know his route was better, every step of the way! Unless you’re a patient cookie, there could be some tension.
“Chatty Charlie”
Although this one will not speak to you, he will talk all the way to your destination! We’re talking the kind of driver whose phone doesn’t stop ringing. The one who talks on the phone all ride long, and when he takes a wrong turn, and you say something, you’re the one being rude and interrupting his conversation! Never mind the headache you end up with when you reach your journey's end, having not spoken a single word yourself!
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By Dina Khafagy
