It’s Thursday night, you just got home from a long, long day at work, and it’s time to figure out what kind of person you’re going to be for the night. You are confused between being the “live-to-fight-another-day” AKA the fall-asleep type of person, or the “lets-get-this-f*cking-party-started”. If the latter seems like a more relatable option, then my friend, you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s all take a long look in the mirror, and talk about all the white lies we always tell to our tired, exhausted, and broke selves, and put that responsible-adult in all of us to sleep. Obviously, we’re not talking about the clear big “no’s” that are so out there and apparent, like the “don’t drink and drive”, it would just sound real douchy to say.
1. I will stay hydrated
2. No videos of any kind
3. No deep conversations/ I’ll keep my issues to myself
4. I will sober up before I go home
5. I don’t have any hidden talents that I don’t already know about
6. I’m only gonna pass by for 30 minutes
7. No after parties...
8. The obvious “I won’t drink too much” AKA “I’m only gonna have two shots”
9. I will not mix different types of alcohol
10. I will not use my phone to embarrass myself... in public
11. I’ll be in bed by a reasonable hour
12. I will not pee anywhere other than the bathroom
13. I’m not going to request the DJ to play anything