So you say, you are the girl/guy type who has been “forever alone” on Valentine’s Day, and every other day of the year, but did you ever think, why? We are pretty sure you did, had your doubts, and have been self-conscious about some stuff. Maybe, you've dated for a while or for the shortest of time; and maybe it is your habit to run or you've been thrown away like a gum. Perhaps even, you haven’t been lucky enough and wanted to continue on with the search, and maybe, just maybe, you have been that kind of person that is repulsive as hell. Since we know the qualities that are gonna be mentioned here are not innate, we know you can do better than being the jerk on a date/ in a relationship; both of you guys and girls.

1) You are not the talk of the town

Maybe, you are one of those who still believe that the world only revolves around you. We all know your mama taught you so and that you are her ― always ― little monkey. However, please, save us the hassle from having to tell you ― over and over again ― that there are hundreds of people around you too, whose worthiness and value to others could be higher than yours. Stop trying to make everything about yourself.

 

2) Drama Queens.

Queens are often charming and very charismatic. Drama queens however, are cunning, cynical, selfish and the least attractive to guys and girls. Stop making a big fuss about the guy you just knew who has never shown attraction towards you. Stop getting yourself into the “drama” you so love with players (both girls and boys), who are only bound to break your heart so you can be the victim. Just stop!

 

3) Gold Diggers

We all know that whatever you wear is a brand; we know you love all that shimmers on your fingers, on your ears, and your brand new iPhone X. However, just because you like super expensive stuff, you can’t ask those who have fallen in love with you to get you the same things just to prove they are worthy of you. If that’s how much you value yourself, you need to thoroughly re-examine your whole perception of life. If you keep searching for a guy with a Mercedes, a Rolex, and five or more bank accounts, you will end up with Hanafy El Obaha.

 

4) Johnny Bravo

If you know you are good looking with a great body, but think that only this will get you all the girls, then think twice! Because, NO, not all girls want you, please stop believing so. We've all met that guy who whenever someone introduces him to a new girl, he thinks he can get her in a blink of an eye. Also, that guy who talks all the time about how many chicks have been with him, and how many models have killed themselves over him.  Your kind reminds us all of Mohamed Henedy in Wesh Egram, when he was all confident about his body; but at least the guy is witty and funny and you lack those too!

 

5) Your ears are there for a reason, start using them!

 

How can you respond if you are not listening? Since we already guess you might have had this kind of clash with one or both of your parents/friends (who aren't listening to anything you say), imagine how it would feel to someone that loves or at least, really cares about you! That's how you make us feel too. And, did you know it is quite simple? You shut it, listen, understand, and then talk. Voila!

 

6) "Si el Sayed" vs the Bossy

Who is actually worse? Who is better? And who is more bearable? We seriously cannot decide. A bossy woman, who orders a lot, controls everything and is so demanding. If you are this type, then girl, you do not need a man, you simply need a puppy; that is if he/she can take your attitude!

Moving onto Si El Said, you do not want her to work, travel and you preferably want her to wear nothing but a Abaya. Would you like her to drop herself from the fifteenth floor too or what?

 7) Mama's Boy

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It is true that it is 'Omy, Thom Omy, Thom Omy," but that doesn't mean your mama makes all the decision for you, and knows when you have peed too.

 

8) The commitment issue freak

We all know you are just players who are afraid "something" will get serious on the other side, and we know it is easier for you to commit suicide that to be committed in a relationship. So you can act all smart and genius; pretend to be commitment freaks who like pushing people away, with the ever-present dramatic reason to charm them still. And as usual you want to try, but you cannot decide. You want to decide, but you cannot move on. Man up/woman up and don’t get anyone else in your mess if you haven’t moved on!

 

9) "El Bahr Yehb El Zeyada"

Because women find out about everything, literally! One day, you'll surely get caught. She will know about all the girls you've been texting, she will know when it happened, how it happened; and she might also know what you've been telling each other - word by word. You'll get into the famous fight we all know. It will rain on you with curses and your very innocent, beloved family will be, of course, mentioned.

__________________

By Sara Mosharef

Cover by rotana.com