How many times have you been to a wedding only to hear the famed “3o2balk”? Add to that a couple of  “when will we attend your wedding?” and a few “why are you still single?” and the list goes on.

 Marriage in Egypt has obviously become so much of a life or death matter to many people that they just can’t stop showering you with hubby recommendations and blind dates. We’re all familiar with the term “El Khatba” that was common back in the good old days. You know, the one who was responsible for ensuring every guy or girl lands a significant other? We thought the Khatba days were over, only until we stumbled upon “Farah”.

Farah App

 Yes, that’s right, everyone. Modern day technology has revolutionised life as we know, and this old tradition is not being left behind. Now it’s safe to say that you can delete Tinder. I mean, who needs a dating app when you can get him to tie the knot right away? *wink wink*.

 Just a mid-day confession, we’re guilty of downloading the app, but don’t get us wrong. We only did this to get the juice to all you hopeless romantics out there.

 First things first, the app guarantees a “happy marriage” and eliminates the incompatibility dilemma. How? It has matchmaking sessions; a feature that allows you and your potential partner to answer certain questions within a specific time. Honest answers guarantee you to find your true love, apparently. So, expect questions like “how would you feel about a woman joining the workforce?” or “is the husband supposed to help with chores?” It gets even better; there’s a question that goes, “is it okay for a man to beat his wife?” As if the world was missing more of this crap!

 Oh, and you’re not supposed to lie about your views. No, the app doesn’t have any superpowers, and cannot detect liars, but we don’t want to risk getting a lousy husband, right?

 After answering the questions, you’ll be provided with a pool of candidates to pick whoever suits your taste and preferences. And to filter, you can tell the app how you’d hope your partner would be. Do you want him well-built, sexy, and compassionate? Just make your wish, and the app will grant it! Of course! Cinderella’s fairy godmother, is that you?

 The app also assures us that the search engines will filter the people you’re being matched with. So, no need to worry about fake accounts. Seriously, man? We signed up saying my name was Noha (it isn’t), and the app didn’t sniff out my not-so-good intentions.

 One more advantage is that if you don’t want to upload your picture, that’s fine, don’t! You can use an avatar of your choice that’s close to how you look like in real life. And if anyone asks, just say, “I do believe I have long hair..” Hmm…

 What’s the most shocking is that the app has users that actually use the app! Where did the world go wrong for all of this to happen? Seriously, universe? I don’t think I want to get married after seeing this. Sorry, mama!


By Yara Tarek